While they're alive

Helping your loved one stay connected

Practical ways families help an older relative stay connected: regular calls, visits, senior centers, friendly visitors, the Friendship Line and tech help.

Do this first

Set up one regular call with your loved one at the same time each week, and put it in your calendar. Then write the Friendship Line number, , on a card by their phone: it is free and answered day and night for anyone 60 or over.

Small, steady things help most, and many of them are free. This page is about what family can do. If you haven't yet, read Loneliness and isolation in later life for the signs and causes.

Start by asking what they would enjoy. People stay with things they chose.

Regular calls and visits

  • Make it a ritual. A call every Sunday at 4 is easier to keep, and to look forward to, than "I'll call when I can."
  • Share the load. Make a simple rotation with siblings, cousins or grandchildren so someone checks in most days. My people can help you keep track.
  • Keep calls real. Ask about their day, what they're watching, old stories. Ask for their advice or a recipe. Feeling useful matters.
  • Visits don't have to be long. An hour doing something together, like cooking, sorting photos, a short drive or a walk, often beats an afternoon on the sofa.
  • Send things by mail. Cards, children's drawings and printed photos get looked at again and again.

Senior centers and local programs

Many communities have free or low-cost programs most families never hear about.

  • Senior centers: meals, classes, exercise, games, trips and company. Many offer rides. Your loved one doesn't have to be frail to go; many members are active and busy.
  • The Eldercare Locator: call or text , or search at eldercare.acl.gov (opens in a new tab). Ask: "What is there near them for staying connected, like a senior center, a friendly visitor or phone program, or rides?" It connects you with the local Area Agency on Aging.
  • Meals on Wheels: local programs bring meals to the door, and many include a friendly visit and a safety check. Search by ZIP code at mealsonwheelsamerica.org (opens in a new tab).
  • Places of worship, libraries and clubs: many run groups, visits or rides for older members. See Spiritual care and final wishes.
  • Volunteering: helping others is one of the best ways to feel needed. Ask the senior center or library what's nearby.

Friendly visitors and phone friends

A befriending service matches your loved one with a volunteer who visits or calls regularly, just to chat. Look for names like "friendly visitor", "telephone reassurance", "phone buddy" or "senior companion". Ask the Eldercare Locator, the local Area Agency on Aging, or their congregation what exists nearby.

The Friendship Line

The Institute on Aging's Friendship Line is a free, confidential line for adults 60 and over, adults living with disabilities, and caregivers. It is answered day and night at . Spanish: . Other languages are listed on its website (opens in a new tab).

More free lines, including crisis lines, are on Crisis lines and someone to talk to.

Tech help, at their pace

Video calls, a family group chat or a digital photo frame can bring family closer, if they're set up well.

  • Set it up for them, write simple steps on a card, and practice together.
  • Choose one or two tools, not five.
  • A tablet with large text and a simple video-call app is often easier than a phone.
  • Public libraries and senior centers often offer free one-on-one tech help.
  • Respect a "no". Some people just prefer the phone, and that's fine.

Getting around without driving

  • Ask the Area Agency on Aging about senior rides or volunteer driver programs.
  • Many transit systems offer reduced fares and door-to-door "paratransit" for people who qualify.
  • Some congregations and senior centers arrange carpools.

Should someone move?

Families sometimes wonder whether a move would solve it. It can, but not always.

  • Moving them closer to you can mean more visits and help. But it takes them away from their doctor, neighbors, congregation and routines. Some older adults end up more alone in a new town where they only know you.
  • Moving yourself closer can work well, but it is a big change for your own family, job and friendships.
  • Senior housing or a retirement community can offer built-in company and activities. Costs vary a lot: see Care options and the cost calculator.

Before deciding, ask what they want, count how many people they know where they are now versus where they would go, try a long visit first if you can, and think about what happens if their health changes. See Having the hard conversations.

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When to get professional help

If your loved one seems hopeless, stops eating, or talks about not wanting to live, talk to their doctor soon. Low mood in later life is common and treatable.

Caring for a relative can be lonely too. If that's you, see When caregiving gets lonely.

Sources

Last reviewed: October 9, 2026