Start here
Caring for an aging family member: where to start
Take a breath. Choose what is happening right now, and we will take you to the right first steps.
Do this first
You do not have to read this whole guide today. Pick the one box below that matches what is happening now. If someone is in danger or having a medical emergency, call 911 first.
Where should you start?
Choose the situation that matches what is happening right now.
- Open this guideRight now
Someone just died
The first hours and days, who to call, protecting the home, and what not to pay yet.
- Open this guideCare
Someone in the family needs more care
Falls, a hospital discharge, memory loss, or no longer safe living alone.
- Open this guidePlanning
Planning ahead while they are well
The key documents, the family conversation, and getting organized.
- Open this guideEstate
Settling an estate
Probate or a living trust, bank accounts, and paying out what is left.
- Open this guideProperty
Selling the house
Who can sign, clearing it out, taxes, and Medicaid.
- Open this guideFamily
A family disagreement over money
Siblings, an executor who won't share information, or worrying withdrawals.
Caring for someone outside the U.S.? See the guide for readers outside the U.S.
Three things to remember
- A power of attorney ends at death. After your loved one dies, the durable power of attorney no longer lets anyone sign for them. The executor or successor trustee takes over.
- You usually do not have to pay a relative's debts from your own money. The estate pays them. There are exceptions, for example if you co-signed a loan or joint account. Ask before paying anything.
- Write down every phone call. Note the date, the person's name and the reference number. Use the call log.
Your first three steps
0 of 3 done (0%). Saved only in this browser.
Leave the rest for later.
Rules differ by state. The guide will then show your state's rules.
Keep discharge papers, business cards and letters together.
Sources
Last reviewed: September 28, 2026